Civil Servitude Weblog

June 15, 2008

Gov’t 2.0

Filed under: Uncategorized — civilservitude @ 9:09 pm
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The Latest News From Jackson Press –

Man, has it been a wet spring here at Jackson Acre!

How do I know that, you ask? I know this because the sump pump continually reminds me of this. And the latest way it informed me of our wet spring was by dying on me.

But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. I have other, non-Jackson Acre, flooding news to share.

Thursday evening saw torrential downpours visited upon Grandview, Ohio, about the same time I was enjoying a beer with friends at a favorite pub of mine. And as I was sipping my beer, admiring the tumultuous rainfall and watching the street fill up like a swimming pool, I noticed the water slowly rising around my car.

Ten minutes later the water peaked and within thirty minutes the streets were relatively clear. My car, however, had about a half inch of water sloshing about the floor on the passenger side of the car.

After shop-vaccing out what water I could (approximately one quart), the next three days found my car parked in the garage with the windows, doors, and sunroof open as I tried to dry the carpet. The sloshing noise and musty smells are rather annoying.

The rain gauge at Jackson Acre has recorded about four inches of rain over the last six days. The swamp in the back yard has returned and the mosquitoes are quietly gathering forces. The sump pump’s been pretty steady, going off every minute for the last three weeks.

In fact, the sump pump’s not slowed down at all yet this spring. Typically not a good sign. An even worse sign is when your sump pump decides to die when it’s been going off every minute. This happened last night.

The backup sump pump kept up with the flow of water long enough for me to pull the dead pump out of the pit and put the old pump (the one that was here when we bought Jackson Acre! Who knows how old that thing is?!) back in. I tightened all the hose clamps and we were back in business.

Fortunately, my sump pump has a lifetime warranty, and this is the second pump that will be replaced under that warranty. But I can’t return it to Home Depot (blatant plug!) until tomorrow, so here’s hoping the old pump can keep up. Late last night (or early this morning, depending on your perspective) I thought maybe the old pump had died, too.

It was about 2:30 (AM!) when the neighbor’s Great Dane began barking hysterically, waking me up out of my usual fitful sleep. I laid there for a moment, waiting to hear the sump pump, to make sure all was still well, when I heard a strange gurgling noise as the pump went off.

Strange. It’s never sounded like that before.

I kept listening, waiting to see if it still sounded like that when it went off again. I waited, waited, waited, and … more gurgling.

Not good. Especially at 2:30 in the morning.

So I ran downstairs, expecting the worst, and almost found it.

Water was spraying like a geyser out of the sump pit, drenching the basement floor and everything else nearby. I looked down into the pit of Hell and saw that a hose clamp had broken off the pipe coming out of the pump. And every time the pump went off, half the water sprayed around the pipe, not up the pipe.

And it sprayed all over my legs, in addition to everything else nearby.

Ten soggy minutes and one new hose clamp later, the problem was solved.

The neighbor’s Great Dane, however, was still barking hysterically.

So not only does my own puppy wake me up at all kinds of ungodly hours, so does the neighbor’s dog!


Wondering when I’ll ever get a good night’s sleep!

June 9, 2008

Mugs 4 Ideas!

Filed under: Uncategorized — civilservitude @ 9:49 pm
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Light news from Jackson Press tonight.

I do believe a general lack of sleep is beginning to catch up with us, here at Jackson Acre.

Lack of sleep, you ask? Always poking your nose into things, aren’t you?

Yes, we’ve found it a bit hard to actually find a good night’s sleep around here lately. New sleep patterns and all, partially because of the new puppy, partially because it’s summer, and partially because the universe is secretly screwing with me.

You see, the first reason for our general tiredness (not quite tired enough to call it exhaustion) is due to our new Bowflex. We’ve started our Bowflex exercise routine, striving to reach that Bowflex body we’ve seen in all those commercials. Now we’re already probably in the best shape we’ve ever been in, even better than when we were twenty years younger, primarily because of all the drinking, smoking, and carousing done in our misspent youth. There’s a whole lot less carousing going on these days.

And there are several other factors contributing to our general lack of energy. Let me paint a picture of a typical night. First, we finally get to bed about midnight, after making sure the puppy has gone out for a final night-night potty. We usually lie awake for about twelve minutes, filled with dread over the thought of going in to work the next day.

About 3:30, the backup sump pump alarm will go off, always for no apparent reason and always loudly. It goes off so often around here that it’s a little like the boy who cried wolf. I don’t think the wife even hears it anymore. Last night the sump pump took the night off, so it’s role was covered by the dead batteries in the carbon monoxide detector, chirping to inform me of their impending death.

By 4:30, the puppy has to pee again. Usually the wife takes her out, since I have to get up to go to work in two hours and need as much uninterrupted sleep as possible. Puppy always comes back a little frisky after draining her bladder, so it take another twenty minutes before she finally settles down to sleep.

At 5:30, the birds all around the house here on Jackson Acre all start chirping, singing, calling, cawing, and crowing. I’m quite amazed that they all start up at the same time. And they’re quite loud, so they wake me up and I have to groggily reach up and shut the window, so I can get another hour of uninterrupted sleep.

At 6:30, my alarm clock goes off and the first waves of dread start washing over me, followed quickly by my brain choosing some inane song to play over and over in my head. See our essay on “Fake Plastic Trees” from last year.

I’ve also found that eating something after 10PM tends to disturb my sleeping capabilities. It’s about 10:30 and I’m munching on Cheez-Its. I wonder what we’ll dream about tonight?

Cheez-It! Cheez-It!

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