BACK TO NORMAL

February 21, 2008

The Latest News From Jackson Press – Back To Normal

Some readers of Civil Servitude expressed concern and dismay over our seemingly upbeat and positive outlook on 2008. They said it was entirely out-of-character and they found it very disheartening and just plain freaky.

Evidently we are known more for our witty cynicism and generally downbeat outlook on life. When we deviated from that, with even the slightest bit of optimism and hope, fans thought we were ill and possibly psychotic. Homicide was also mentioned, although we’re unclear if they actually meant our homicide for being upbeat or possibly us perpetuating homicide on someone else, since we seemed so out-of-character.

But rest assured that it’s all over with and everything’s back to normal. All the factors that we thought were going our way a mere three weeks ago have once again shifted and deposited us squarely in the miasma that is existence here at Jackson Acre.

Ahh, but you’re curious, aren’t you? Just what was it that had us so happy and joyous, so hopeful and optimistic? I can hear you now, saying “Tell us, Mr. Jackson. Please share with us those positive things that you banked your happiness on! Share with us the things in life you thought were going you way!”

Fair enough. Yes, we can admit that we actually had hope that things were going our way in 2008. It all seemed so real, so true. Peace and success seemed so obtainable. But, alas …

For starters, work (the asinine government, not Jackson Press) promised us that we would finally get back to a normal workload, which meant dropping my responsibilities to only dealing with one major city department! But no. I continue to remain stuck carrying, arguably, the two LARGEST departments in the city.

Motivated? Thrilled about work? Ready to succeed and please both my customers and my leaders?? Yeah, that’s me. Yeah, I’m smiling because I LOVE MY FRAKIN’ JOB and NOT because I’m really contemplating who to cuss out first as I suffer through yet another asinine meeting …

What’s next on my shite list?

Let’s see, how about the home? Yes, I continue to gripe about Jackson Acre and it’s never-ending drainage problems, which should get fixed this spring, but that does nothing to alleviate the sump pump frequency for the next two months. But we had a glimmer of hope a few weeks ago. We found a beautiful house in the neighborhood we’d like to be in. Slightly over our price range, we made an offer none-the-less. It was the in-ground pool and three-season room that clinched it for me. And we could swing the payment, our accountant told us, although it would be very, very, very tight.

The pool was enough for us to make an offer. And they excepted our second counter-offer, but only if we could close by May 1st, regardless of whether or not we’d sold the swamp at Jackson Acre. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have enough cash sitting around here at Jackson Acre to pay for a house without selling my current one. And – oddly enough – I don’t see Jackson Acre selling particularly quickly when a quarter of my acre is under water. I also don’t see anyone making us an offer on Jackson Acre after they realize the sump pump goes off every three minutes on a good day.

So that all fell through, reinforcing my belief that I live in Hell and I’m not going anywhere until I make amends here. Purgatory is what I’m calling it now, but more on that next time.

Finally, I didn’t get the motorcycle I was looking at, which wound up being strike three in the positive things I was so looking forward to happening in early 2008. I’m still looking, but the outlook is a bit grim. That’s the story of my life, eh?

So rest assured, dear reader, that our upbeat and positive attitude has once again been beaten out of us by life, a delicate reminder that good things don’t typically happen to anyone we know, and when they do happen to people we know that gives us the perfect reason to be even more bitter and cynical about this place in life that we find ourselves in, where nothing really good ever happens, just moderately mediocre things that don’t make much difference.

Yeah, back to normal …

Trying to fool myself by repeating –
“I Love My Job. I Love My Job.”